See if you qualify for NBLB (No Boomer Left Behind)
So, maybe you are wondering if in fact you qualify for the Boomer definition referenced in the last post. Not sure? No problem. What truer evaluation than a test: you’ve heard of No Child Left Behind (NCLB): what about No Boomer Left Behind (NBLB).
Normally, the test is quite a bit longer than this: this is the abridged version---the entire test is available in our book, WHEN I'M 64. So find your bifocals, go to the bathroom, and find a comfy spot on that Barco-lounger. Remember, Rosemary Woods is taping this.
1. Give yourself a point if you can sing the theme song from I Love Lucy, Leave it to Beaver, and My Three Sons.
2. 1 point: You can name 3 members of Monty Python and to this day as soon as you hear the word “lumberjack” you burst into song.
3. You can name the first music you bought: add 2 points if it was a tape, 4 points if it was an album, 6 points if it was a 45.
4. 1 point: Identify the movies that produced these quotes: “Paulie: leave the gun; get the cannolis.” “Double Secret Probation.” “I have one word for you, son: Plastics.”
5. 1 point: You wonder what happened to names like Bob, Jim, John and Tom and why so many kids are now named Zack, Tyler, and Zoë.
6. 1 point: You used a slide rule: Add 10 points if you got the right answer.
7. 1 point: You still have the Zappa Crappa poster.
8. 1 point: MEN: You remember the collar-less Nehru jacket. You wore one. 10 point bonus if you still have it. You had a white disco outfit. You had a powder blue leisure suit, white belt and matching white shoes. LADIES: You remember your first bikini. 2 points if you still have it or a picture of you in it: my phone number if it still fits (only kidding, dear).
9. 1 point: You can recall what a thrill it was the first time you heard Country Joe McDonald do the FISH cheer. You cried laughing the first time you heard a Richard Pryor album.
10. 1 point: You have your draft card: your dog tags: you married someone with a draft card and dog tags. You remember your lottery number: you never got the chance to get a lottery number because you were already a member of Uncle Sam’s Gang.
If you can add up your point total in your head, you may be eligible for the official NBLB pin. If you need a calculator to figure out your score, you were probably born in the mid-sixties and are thereby classified as a fringe Boomer. If you need a computer program with a special spreadsheet program, you have a long way to go yet, baby. If you have to “network with your people and discuss the political correctness of this to see if it speaks to today’s market” I hope your generation finds a life fast that they can call their own, look back on and enjoy the memories.